When You Feel Selfish

When we finally decide to take bold action that is truly aligned with our soul, a common thought tends to show up: 

“I am being selfish.” 

This can be enough to stop us in our tracks. 

We start to backpedal. Doubt creeps in. 

“I don’t deserve this. Who do I think I am?” 

We fall back into putting everyone else before our selves - our habitual pattern of taking responsibility for everyone else’s emotional and physical needs before our own: our children, our spouses, our clients, our supervisors… even our parents, though we are full-grown adults. 

So what if the truth is, you ARE being selfish. 

And that is a GOOD thing. 

When we have been unconsciously sacrificing our self, we MUST act relatively selfishly, so that we CAN take action that is in line with our values. 

When our choices are falling on the selflessness end of the spectrum, it is necessary to take steps in the direction of selfishness in order to move closer to a more balanced sense of self. 

So take that small - or big - step that truly makes your heart sing. 

Say yes to that yoga class or cup of coffee with a friend, even though it means your kids are being taken care of by someone else. Take a lunch break, even if it is the only time that works for a client to have an appointment. Do not answer your phone when your mother calls, if you are enjoying some quiet alone space. 

And when the inevitable, normal feelings of guilt and shame arise, affirm that taking relatively “selfish” action does not make you a selfish person. 

Instead, you are living more in line with your SELF. 

Here’s to authentic living! 

With love and admiration, 

Caitlin